


Bittersweet Bundle of Misery

by MrMagpie



Category: Blur
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, gralex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2019-01-18 16:21:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12391725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrMagpie/pseuds/MrMagpie
Summary: I wanted to write a character with bipolar disorder, as I have it as well. Kind of got off track though.Sorta wrapped this up before I got even more off track, so the ending isn't very good. Oh well.P.S. I hate Damon Albarn.





	1. ch. 1

Alex woke up sprawled out on a sofa in a flat he didn’t recognise. He checked the clock — half four in the morning. He found half a bottle of Chardonnay on the floor next to him, picked it up, and took a swig. He had a throbbing headache and was covered in sweat. He looked around the flat, and heard laughter and life from a room down the hall, so he followed the noise. He entered a brightly lit bedroom where his best mate and some people he didn’t know were passing around a bong. His friend Damon noticed him first.

“Steve! Come hit this,” Damon said, offering Alex the bong. Alex obliged.

“How the hell did we get here?”

“You don’t remember these pretty young things who dragged us here after the club? You passed out as soon as we made it to the flat! Been out nearly an hour!”

“Nah mate. I should probably get going. Where are we?”

“Three blocks from your flat.”

“I’ll ring you tomorrow.”

“Right then.”

Alex left the flat and started heading home. He hoped he was heading in the right direction. He hoped his boyfriend wasn’t waiting up for him.

He entered the flat, Chardonnay still in hand, and sure enough Graham was sitting in the dark on the sofa, staring at the television but not watching it.

“Hey love, you didn’t have to wait up for me.”

“You know I always do. I hate when you’re manic.” Alex sat next to him and put the bottle down.

“You know I can’t help it.”

“When are you going to get your meds straightened out?”

“The doctor changes them every time I see her!”

“And you never consider getting a new doctor. I’m going to bed, Alex.”

“It’s not that simple! Graham wait, please let me make it up to you.” Alex wrapped his arm around Graham’s waist and planted delicate kisses on his temple.

“You know I can’t say no to you.”

Alex’s charm let him get away with anything. His bipolar episodes constantly got in the way of his relationship, and he knew Graham put up with a lot. He was lucky he was still with him. Graham saw him when he was manic — going out all night and not coming home until the wee hours of the morning, drinking too much wine, flirting with everything that had a pulse. And he saw him when he was depressed — lying in bed for weeks, not showering for days, not helping Graham keep up with the flat they shared. He felt like he had to make up for his actions constantly. So he was a romantic. He made sweet love to Graham every night, bought him things and held him and kissed him every chance he got. And Graham fell for it every time. He loved Alex, and that was all that mattered to him. He’d let Alex do anything, and forgave him for everything.


	2. ch. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damon is trying to get Alex in trouble. Graham is still mad.

Alex woke up naked on his sofa. He heard Graham in the kitchen, and found him sitting at the table drinking tea. He had already gotten dressed, and Alex suddenly realised his own nakedness. He walked over to Graham and wrapped his arms around his shoulders from behind.

“Good morning love.”

“Good morning, Alex. Get dressed, Damon is coming over.”

But Alex sat next to him instead, and put his arm around him. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine.”

“How can you still be mad at me?”

“Fucking me isn’t going to make up for years of this shit, Alex.”

“I don’t fuck you, I make love to you.” Alex started kissing Graham on the cheek, but Graham moved away and took his teacup to the sink.

“Can we talk about this later?”

Alex took a long shower. He knew in his manic state he was sure to get himself into more trouble with Damon. Damon loved Graham as much as he did, and he loved going out and encouraging Alex to drink and womanise and engage in risky behaviour. Damon was his best mate, but he didn’t trust him. Graham thought he was so great, but he was blind to how he manipulated Alex.

Alex came down the stairs to find Graham and Damon in the living room. Damon’s arm was around Graham and he was laughing hysterically.

“What did I miss mates?” Alex asked with a smile.

“Steve! I was just tellin’ your boyfriend here about our night last night.”

“Oh… right. I don’t really remember that. Can we talk about it later?”

“Oh shut up Alex, Graham already knows how rowdy you get.” Alex sat next to Graham and gave him an apologetic look. Graham looked uncomfortable and stared at his hands. “So anyway loves, I was thinking of taking you both out for the night. Poor little Graham never gets to go have fun with us,” Damon said, speaking more towards Graham than Alex.

“I d’know mate, we had a pretty late night last night maybe we should —“

“Let’s do it,” Graham interrupted.

“Right then!” Damon clapped his hands together, “we’ll leave in an hour. Graham, I want you to show me that thing you told me about on your guitar, would you mind?”

“Not at all, let me get it.”

Alex knew Damon was just trying to get him in trouble. As he watched Graham play and saw the light in Damon’s eyes as he watched him, he grew wary of Damon. He would have to be on his best behaviour tonight. He wondered what Damon was up to. Graham never wanted to go out with them, but Graham had been acting differently lately so he wasn’t surprised by anything he did.


	3. ch. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damon sucks, Alex is having a miserable time.

Before he knew what was happening, Alex was wasted at an over-crowded pub. He was sitting on the pool table with his arm around a pretty girl, surrounded by strangers he claimed were his new best mates. He had been doing shots and chasing them with champagne, being cheered on by the people in the pub. It had to have been at least a few hours since he’d seen Damon and Graham, he hadn’t even realised they had been separated. 

“I’ve got to take a break and find my party love, I’ll meet up with you later,” he told the girl under his arm, kissing her on the corner of the mouth and hopping off the pool table. He wasn’t sure if she’d heard him but it didn’t really matter.

He searched the tables and around the bathrooms before finding Damon and Graham at the bar in a corner. Graham was sitting in a stool, Damon between his legs, Damon’s hand on his thigh and his face close enough to his to taste his breath. Graham looked happier than he had all day, and Damon looked hungry. Alex suddenly felt more sober than he had all night.

He grabbed Damon by the shoulder and ripped him off of Graham. “Graham, love, may I speak to you?” he said in a low voice through clenched teeth.

“Oh, have you gotten bored with your new mates already?”

“Please Graham,” he said, taking Graham by the arm and trying to pull him off the bar stool. But Graham pulled his arm out of his grip.

“Don’t fucking snatch me, I’m not your property.”

Damon touched Alex’s shoulder and smiled at him. “C’mon mate, whatever it is it can wait. Let’s have another drink.”

“Damon, the last thing we need is another drink. Please give us a moment,” Alex said without looking at him.

“Come off it, man.”

“Why don’t you come off trying to fuck my boyfriend all the time?”

Damon opened his mouth to say something else, but Graham interrupted.

“Let’s go talk, Alex,” he said, hopping off the bar stool and taking Alex’s hand, heading for the bathroom.

They made their way into the bathroom where there was one other man washing his hands at the sink. Graham sat on the counter and crossed his arms over his chest, looking at Alex expectantly. 

“Who the fuck does Damon think he is?” Alex said to no one in particular.

“My friend.”

“Well he’s supposed to be my friend too, and friends don’t touch their friends’ boyfriends like that.”

“He wasn’t doing anything, Alex. Besides, have you not noticed the way you touch other people when you’re drunk?”

“I’m just being friendly, it doesn’t mean anything.”

“Damon was just being friendly too.”

“I don’t trust him around you, Gra.” Alex turned to Graham looking like a beaten puppy. Graham’s heart softened but he was determined to stand his ground.

“I trust him.”

“Can we just go home? I don’t want to be here anymore. I want to go home and hold you and pretend this night never happened.”

“No, I’m having fun. I want to pretend a lot of nights you’ve had out never happened.” With that, Graham hopped off the counter and made his way for the door. Alex didn’t try to stop him, he just followed submissively.

Graham returned to the bar and sat next to Damon, a smile on his face.

“Everything alright you two?” Damon asked, looking concerned.

“We’re fine Dames, let’s have another round of drinks,” Graham said with a charming grin on his face.

“Right then! Bartender!” Damon perked up and looked around for the man that had been serving them.

Alex leaned against the bar next to Graham. He watched the other patrons at the pub and decided he had to be the most miserable bloke there.


	4. ch. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> implied sex but not smut.

On the way back to the flat, Graham held Alex’s arm, and Alex felt like he could breathe again.

“Did you have a nice time, love?” he asked, guiding his drunk boyfriend through the dark city.

Graham hiccuped. “I guess so.”

“What’s wrong?”

Graham ignored the question. “Alex, will you make love to me when we get home?”

“Of course.”

They got back to the flat and made their way up the stairs, hand in hand, in silence. Alex held Graham’s face and looked at him like he was the most beautiful thing he’d ever laid eyes on. He kissed Graham delicately and touched him like he was made of porcelain. He was always careful with his Graham, rarely did they have rough sex. It was always slow, and passionate, and he treated Graham like the precious thing that he was.

They lied in bed next to each other in the dark, blankets and clothes scattered across the floor. They stared up at the ceiling and listened to the sounds of their heavy breathing.

“Alex, I’m lost.” Graham’s words floated towards the ceiling and dissipated into the air.

“What do you mean?”

“I love you so much Alex, but you drive me mad.”

“I know. I’m sorry Graham. I love you too.”

“I need you to be better.”

“I’m trying.”

“I know, and that’s the trouble. I know how hard you’re trying, and I’m trying hard too. But it isn’t enough. I don’t know if it will ever be enough.”

“What will we do, then?”

“I don’t know, Alex.”


	5. ch. 5

Alex woke up in an empty bed to the sounds of Graham speaking downstairs. He sounded happy. He didn’t hear another voice, so he assumed he was either on the phone, or talking to himself. He put on a pair of boxers from the floor, unsure whether they belonged to him or his boyfriend, and went downstairs. He found Graham sitting on the kitchen table holding himself and chatting away on the phone. He looked like a school girl talking to her crush. It had to be Damon on the other line. Alex rolled his eyes and huffed but kissed Graham sweetly on the cheek and went to pour himself a cup of tea. He sat at the table with his tea and watched him talk.

Graham put his hand over the phone’s speaker and turned to Alex. “Damon’s wanting to come over today, is that alright?”

“Again?”

“Is that alright?”

“Let me talk to him.” Graham handed him the phone.

“Hey Damon.”

“Steve, you’re finally awake,” Damon laughed.

“Yeah, hey listen… can whatever you need to stop by for wait until tomorrow? Graham and I need a little ‘us’ time.” Graham frowned.

“Oh come off it mate, I just want to come check on Graham.”

“Graham is fine. Why do you need to ‘check on him?’”

“You know he’s not used to going out all night like that, he’s got to be hungover and somebody should —“

“I think I can take care of him myself, Damon.” Alex was getting annoyed.

“Please Alex, you can barely take care of yourself. Graham is delicate.”

“I know, and I’ve got him. Stay in your lane.”

“Come off it mate I’m just tryin’ t’ help.”

“Goodbye Damon.”

“Let me talk to Graham again.”

“Goodbye, Damon.” And Alex hung up the phone.

Graham looked down at Alex both confused and annoyed. “Why’ve you been so rude to him lately, Alex?”

“He’s all over you, Graham! I don’t trust him.”

“He’s your best mate and mine too. Don’t be so insecure.”

“I’ve seen the way he looks at you. Don’t be daft.”

“Stop it with this hypocritical jealously,” Graham said, hopping off the table.

“Hypocritical?”

“Damon tells me all about the girls and boys you’re all over when you go out. You’ve got a new one every night.”

“See? He’s trying to drag me through the mud and take you away from me. Besides, I’ve never cheated on you. I know I get flirtatious when I’m manic and drunk but it doesn’t mean anything, you know that.”

“He’s just looking out for me. I’m not doing anything either. You’ve got nothing to be jealous about.”

“Graham, what are we doing?”

Graham said nothing, only shook his head and headed for the basement where his guitars were. He left Alex alone at the table, with his cold tea, feeling stupid. Alex knew he’d be down there all day. Maybe he should talk to Damon about this.


	6. ch. 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> implied sex, not smut. very romantic. kind of a cop out ending.

It was nearly midnight and Alex hadn’t seen Graham since earlier that morning. He heard Graham’s guitars weeping and whining from the basement, and the sounds drove him to tears more than once. He took Graham’s phone from the kitchen table — three missed calls and a text from Damon. It read: Are you alright?

He took the phone upstairs and locked himself in the bedroom, sat on the bed, and dialled Damon’s number. After two rings, he picked up.

“Graham! I haven’t heard from you all day, have you been alright?”

“It’s Alex.”

“Oh, Alex? Where is Graham?”

“In the basement, playing guitar. He’s been there all day.”

“Have you checked on him?”

“He’s a grown man, Damon, not a child.”

“But he’s delicate —“

“You’ve said that.”

“Well what’s going on?”

“I need to talk to you, about how you’ve been acting lately.”

“What have I done this time?”

“Graham and I need some space.”

“Why can’t Graham tell me that himself?”

“You really need to pull your head out of Graham’s arse. I know what you’re trying to do. It’s pathetic, really.”

“And what’s that?”

“You’ve been getting me in trouble and you’ve been all over Graham. It’s like you’re trying to sabotage our relationship.”

There was a long, tense pause before Damon responded. “You don’t deserve him.”

“Maybe not, but that’s not up to you.”

“I’m trying to protect him.”

“He doesn’t need you to.”

“Well somebody’s got to! You’ve brainwashed him into putting up with your shit for too long.”

“Graham can think for himself.”

“Not with you convincing him you can do whatever you want as long as you suck his cock and buy him flowers.”

“It’s not that simple, Damon.”

“It really is though. Let him go, Alex.”

“He’s free to come and go as he pleases. You think I’m brainwashing him into staying with me, while you’re brainwashing him into leaving me.”

“Because it’s best for him.”

“You don’t know what’s best for him. My suspicions about you were true, and I don’t want you over here again.”

“Graham will want me over again.”

“That’s up to him. I’ve got to go talk to him. Goodbye, Damon.”

“Don’t hurt him anymore, Alex.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” And with that, Alex hung up the phone.

He made his way to the basement and slowly crept into the room so as not to disturb Graham. Graham had his back to him and was playing his guitar, looking a the instrument as if he wanted to strangle it. Alex leaned against the wall and watched for a moment before Graham noticed him and put the guitar down.

“What is it?” Graham sighed.

“Can we talk?”

“About what?”

“Do you want to leave me?”

“No, I don’t.”

“Why not?”

“You say that like you’d prefer if I did.”

“I don’t think I deserve you.”

Graham got up and put his arms around Alex’s neck, kissing him gently and staring up at him. “I think we deserve each other.”

Alex held Graham around the waist and looked at him like his whole world was about to shatter. “I don’t want to torture you anymore.”

Graham shushed him. “You don’t. I wouldn’t rather be with anyone else in the world. Don’t let Damon get into your head.”

“You’re one to talk.”

“I don’t let him get into my head. He tries, you’re not wrong about that, but he doesn’t know you like I know you. You’re better than he thinks. You’re sick, I know, and it sucks, but I’m sick too in my own way. If you were perfect I’d be bored to death.” Graham smiled at him and kissed him again.

Alex buried his face in Graham’s neck as his eyes got misty. “Don’t leave me for that bastard.”

“I have standards, Alex.” Alex looked at him and smiled, and Graham kissed him, this time more feverishly. Alex held him tight and kissed him back, each of them smiling into each other’s mouths. He picked Graham up and carried him upstairs, gently lying him on the bed and leaving a trail of kisses from his head to his feet.


End file.
